Well, it's broken. My cuboid bone in my left foot is fractured and has put me out of the 2013 Wasatch 100. After last years issues at Wasatch this race has been circled on my calendar. I hit the lottery in February and endured some tough and fun training but it appears once again it is not meant to be.
After finding out about this last week I have been through a few different emotions. There was of course- anger, sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration, questioning, wondering, anger (did I say that) and pity. Trying to put things in perspective brought me to an all so cliche' thought. You have heard it and said it to yourself many times- "What if this is the last time?"
I remember back to my sub 30 finish at Wasatch and the last 18 miles. I was off pace to go sub 30 but I kept pushing myself. Since Wasatch is a lottery (although good odds to get in) I remember telling myself- "What if this is your last Wasatch?", "What if this is your last race?", "What if this is the closest you ever get to a sub 30?". Well it wasn't any of those but by thinking those things I believe I was able to push myself a bit more to get my sub 30 I trained for.
In reality, this is just a race, this is my "hobby", it isn't life or death and yes there are more important things in the world but right now it doesn't make things any easier. What it does it helps me put it in perspective just a little bit more. Do I run trails only to race? No, I have met some amazing people that I would have otherwise never met. I have experienced things I would have never had the pleasure of seeing/doing. The race is the celebration. It's the culmination of the work you have put in.
As I sit and work on my schedule for the next couple weeks of swimming and cycling, I am hoping to gain even more perspective of why I do this.
The plan as of Monday August 26th, 2013 at 2:08 pm is to toe the starting line of the Bear 100 in 5 short weeks. As a friend of mine (Phil Lowry) told me over the weekend on a phone call- "I think you can walk the entire Bear under 36 hours." I will wait a couple more weeks to get the next MRI to see how the foot is healing and if I get good news, I will get my drop bags ready for a long 30+ hours in the in the mountains. I will obviously not be in great running shape and will need to curb all expectations but I really do want to do this. I want to finish the year on a positive note and carry that over to next year.
I am not going out with anything to prove, I am not going out to show anything, I am going out there to celebrate another great year I got to spend doing something I enjoy......
So good luck you Wasatch runners and for all of you running the Bear- I really hope to share the start and finish with ya!